i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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