i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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