As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He felt like a one man threesome
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
