sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
