New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
