Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
