I smell stomach acid.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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