just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
