You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I want her autograph on my taint
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
