this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
