Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
