I don't think brook has ever known best
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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