I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
