we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
