i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
