so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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