Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
