She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
