you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
