Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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