i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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