The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
