so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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