I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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