I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
