I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The air taste purple.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
