Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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