I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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