If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
