it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
