Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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