I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
