Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Dear god my vagina.
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