I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
