i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
