so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just found a bag of teeth...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
