everyone is single if you try hard enough
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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