i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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