a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
