this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
