did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
