Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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