i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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