Sry I called you an 8
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You can't just leave with hair like that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
