she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
