I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
