I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
