should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
