He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
