I got chris browned last night
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
